Reality?
by Ms. AtomicBomb
Summary: Ivan Braginski starts his story on a warm summer day, He meets a lovely girl named Madeline and soon begins to fall for her. RussiaxFem!Canada. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer! **

**I do not own Hetalia nor the characters. As well as I do not claim to. I simply own the plot.**

**I hope you enjoy~**

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It all started on a warm summer day as I entered my new Physics classroom. In all honesty I hated Science. It was boring and nonetheless I sucked at it.

I walked to where a strawberry blonde haired girl sat at the back of the classroom next to the window. "Sorry to bother you, but is it possible for me to sit here?" I asked her.

Her face immediately shot towards me. Her indigo eyes grew wide behind her black Buddy Holly style Ray ban glasses. "Y-yes, of c-course." She stuttered. I looked at her flustered face for a little while before smiling and reciting a small 'Thanks'.

I turned my attention towards the board where the teacher began his first lesson of the semester. After the lesson he had given us a short time to start on our homework before we were to be in the next class. Of course I spent this time in a stupid manner. I stared at her. She was very pretty. Her strawberry golden locks were separated in two low wavy ponytails with one gravity defying curl stubbornly sticking out of her rushed hair-do. Her glasses were a bit big for her frame but it looked rather cute.

I would then watch her do her work every day from then on. She was brilliant. In every test or quiz she would ace with either hundreds of high nineties. Now, the only down side to watching her was that I, in return, failed my examinations. The more saddening fact was that I had never had a full conversation with the angelic figure that sat next to me.

Soon enough I had noticed that she was very secluded; kept to herself and not to interact with others around her. Maybe that helped her study more- get better grades, right?

One day, I remember I had entered the class and was most definitely determined to talk to her after receiving another failure. I sat down in my seat and faced her. "Madeline." I spoke. She jumped to the sound of my voice and faced me- showing me her lovely features.

"Y-Yes?" She questioned. "I know you're busy with school and all; but is it possible for you to tutor me?" I had asked with slight confidence. She looked at me with confusion drowning her features. "I'm horrible at math, as you can see." I had pulled out my previous tests. "So, may you please tutor me?" I almost begged.

"W-well...Y-you see-" She sighed. "O-oui." Had I mentioned that she was part French? Well, she was. Her father, being British and her Mother being French- she also had an older brother that I had never met.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to." I stated as I had noticed her awkward expression. "If you want me t-to, I'd love t-to help." She hid her smile as she pushed up her glasses. "Thanks Madeline, you're the best." I grinned.

As we both had taken a seat down on one of the many tables in the library she began. "T-there are t-two rules- One; A-always here after school. T-two; Do not fall in love with me."

"Da, no problem. I promise." I answered.

Little had I know that right there and then, I had broken that promise. I had fallen in love with her; starting with her brain. She was smart and brilliant. She was lovely- I mean what was she not?

"Ivan, are you paying attention?" Madeline asked. I had then focused on her words rather than her face. "I can't help but think that there's a world between you and me and you're being pulled into it rather than staying here and focusing on me." She sighed. I remember that she had stopped stuttering and now her voice was fluent. The advantage was that I could hear her shy voice clearly and elaborate on its beauty.

"I'm sorry." I whispered while trying to give her my undivided attention. "Don't worry. Sorry f-for n-nagging." Her stuttering returned once more. Maybe it was because she felt I was intimidating- could be. Many people believed so. In reality I did not understand why. I did get into fights at all but I wasn't really mean or rude at the time.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." I mumbled.

"N-no! Y-you aren't scaring me. W-what makes you t-think t-that?" She questioned.

"People hate me."

"Why? I-if you don't m-mind me asking..."

"I actually don't know."

"Well why? I mean you should."

"Honestly, I don't."

"Why should anyone hate you? You're so nice."

I remember that I smiled at her. "You're nice as well." I would say to her. She blushed immediately at my comment. "M-merci. Vous êtes très gentil." She repeated in French.

She then continued to teach me and that time I focused on what she was saying.

Everyday after that, I met her in the library. We would study until late in the day and then we would part our ways. I believe that I continued to fall for her; but it was like sleep. You fell little by little and then all at once.

I believe it was what it had to be. She had forbid me and I agreed to her guidelines. Yet it was like in the story of Adam and Eve. God forbid them to eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. It was one simple rule, but curiosity and temptation over took Eve's mind and thus making me like such. You could have said our love was not meant to be- I believed so myself.

But I had fallen for her so hard and I knew I could never recover, nonetheless forget such a lovely face. That's also a reason to why I am here, correct?

Now that I loved her it could only be one-sided, which hurt me so much.

She was beautiful and smart. Lovely and sweet. Kind and innocent. She was an angel in disguise. She was love and divinity combined- thus making her perfection.

"Ivan the exam is coming up. You've been doing very well so don't space out now." She smiled on day. I would then reply with a small "You're right." She then stood to leave and gave me a small baby blue slip of paper. It had an address on it. "When exams are over, we can meet each other." She turned to leave but I had stopped her.

"Madeline, would you not want the person you loved to tell you they love you?" I held her gently by her creamy white-skinned wrist. "No." was her answer.

I had become confused at the moment, if I recall. "But why? Why not?"

"Because tat would mean I would never see them again."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I could never see them once more."

"But why?"

"It just has to be that way."

"But why?"

"Ivan, it just does. I'm sorry but I can't explain." She had shaken my hand off and left me standing alone in the quiet library.

I sat back down on the seat and began to pack my books. At the moment, I did not understand what she meant and I never really would. I would spend part of my time contemplating on the issue of one-sided love and the matter of Madeline not wanting to hear a confession. I began to space out and not focus on the world around me more often.

The other part of my time was spent in the 'other world' Madeline had explained that day. I would see a world in front of me awaiting my devotion, a paradise world. It was heaven on an alternate universe. I would see Madeline laughing and smiling with me. People would be ever so happy- it was truly paradise. A paradise that would never be reached, not even if there were true and divine destinations.

"I love you Madeline." I would end up confessing my feelings towards her. I can still remember her exact words. "Ivan, you promised." She said as sadness conquered her angelic-like face. "I know, but I just-""I love you too." She responded as she cut me off. I can still recall the feeling. It was wonderful- like my body would explode of pure bliss.

"I warned you Ivan. Yet you disobeyed me, why?" She sighed. "I'm sorry but we can never see each other aga-" My lips clashed against hers in a sun sweet kiss. Her soft cherry lips had felt so plump under mine.

Our lips had parted faster than I could tell. Her face had been many shades of red which I saw as adorableness. "G-goodbye." She stuttered one last time and left me standing still once more.

It had been many days after that where I had not seen her since. The day before exams I decided to visit the house the she had gave me the address to.

That was how I landed in front of her door and knocking a couple of times.

"Hello." A boy answered.

"Hello. I'd like to see Madeline Williams." I smiled at him. He looked much like her, if I recall. He had sandy blonde hair and the same indigo eyes. In addition he wore glasses as well.

The boy's stare grew hatred. "You think this is funny?" He hissed in utterly most disgust. "How could you just-" He was furious.

"I honestly just want to talk to her." I had stated rather innocently. At the moment I had not understood his anger. I was confused. Soon enough the rude expression had been erased. "You don't know." He mumbled. Of course in my nature I questioned with a simple 'Don't know what?' That was when his eyes had flooded with absolute sadness and depression.

"She died six months ago." He would eventually explain. That was when I started to doubt that I had actually met her. What I do not understand was; how did I meet her?

It had all ended on a cold winter's day as I stood in the grave yard. I took a seat next to a grave. The grave of a strawberry blonde haired girl whom wore glasses. A girl whom I fell in love with.

To this day I still refuse to believe the fact that Madeline was dead.

_Had it all been a dream?_


	2. Chapter 2

**~Alternate ending~**

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"So that's it." I replied.

"So she was just dead?" The doctor asked.

"Yes, she was dead long before I met her." I nodded.

The man never really understood that. To be honest it did sound rather crazy but I knew it was the truth, or at least I believed so myself.

The doctor took down a couple of notes on his note pad and stood up. "I will relieve you now." He stated with much concern. He awaited me at the door until people came and walked me to a gray room.

I sighed heavily for I knew what they were going to do. I knew what was going to happen right here right now. Nurses cuffed my hands to the chair and my feet as well. I sat without restrain. I wasn't going to fight them anymore.

I closed my eyes for a while to imagine Madeline one last time. Her smile, her voice, her scent, her aura- _just all of her_- invaded my thoughts. I wanted to kiss her one last time, yet I knew I wouldn't. As I opened my eyes the doctor held up the needle and before he hit it with the small hammer, my life flashed before my eyes.

The next thing I knew, my life had begun over again.


End file.
